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David Coats Brighton Blog Archive - November

November 3rd - Lewes Bonfire traffic and hooligan Convictions

Lewes Fireworks certainly are 'taking off!' I have had a crazy number of visitors this week because of my page on Lewes bonfire night 2005. Its crazy how much traffic this one page can drive! Looks like topical, local news is the way forward in search engines. (See traffic graph below!)

Around this time last year, maybe after Christmas - I can't remember - when I was living opposite Yate's Wine Lodge on Boyces Street, just off West Street in Brighton - I woke one Saturday morning to find a police officer on my doorstep. It was quite alarming at first - I thought someone had died! I quickly realised there were hundreds of coppers lining West Street. I couldn't work it out at first, but then I remembered how many Police there had been in my first year at Uni, when Brighton played Pompey. I checked who was playing and sure enough - one of the countries most hooligan rife football teams Leeds united were coming to Brighton.

Now even though they have a bad reputation, I still thought it was a little excessive to have this many police for a team from over 300 miles away. In hindsight I'm sure they knew something I didn't. At around 2.30 in the afternoon, I went to Rachel's flat to find the Police had all gone. Not a single one left. Gone to the Withdean I thought. I returned back to West Street at about 4.45 to a large commotion outside Yates. Chairs came flying through the window and about 20 burly blokes piled out with table legs, broken bottles and chairs, which they smashed all over west street. I walked toward Weatherspoons, opposite Boyces Street to see utter Carnage and full on street fighting outside the Fiddlers Elbow and the back of Yates. Almost as quickly had it started, as it finished. Someone shouted leg it and they all ran toward Middle Street and out of site. I walked to my front door and the back of Yates to see all the windows smashed, broken glass and furniture strewn right across the patio and road.

The barman came out and told me it was Leeds fans and that when Brighton scored (the only goal and won 1-0) they kicked off. What I hadn't realised is that they had gone to find the Brighton fans who were apparently in the Fiddlers and the Pump House. When I'd seen the fighting, the Leeds and Brighton fans had run off to smash up the Pump house pub and cause some £10k of damage.

The point of this story is that yesterday 10 of the Brighton fans were jailed for 21 years between them. Pretty amazing to think I witnessed their act - but also that they were caught and punished. Quite an achievement for Sussex police - although - come on - How many witnesses would there have been and how much CCTV evidence is there these days ey! It was pretty inevitable. You can read the story in the Argus here.

November 7th - Meaning of dreams and Lewes bonfire photos

I had the strangest ever dream last night. I dreamt I was on a hike through the jungle and there were loads of snakes and creepy crawlies. I was stood on this bank of grass and I felt movement under my feet - then the ground opened up with man-eating ants. I was absolutely, err, soiling myself. I tried to run away but there were man eating snakes everywhere, so I climbed on top of a chest of draws which was over this river (?! I know!) Then Rachel appeared and was telling me there's nothing to be afraid of. Then she jumped into the river where I could see a boa constrictor waiting. She fought it off but was then swallowed whole by a massive man-eating crocodile. That was where I flipped out and lost all my fear. Somehow (being a superhuman maybe?!) I reached into the water, picked up the croc containing my girlfriend (cos i'm that strong) and repeatedly smashed it a against the chest of drawers spanning the afforementiond river. After about a minute of violent thrashings, the croc lay dead and Rachel escaped! Then I woke up.

So what does that mean ey?! Was it something to do with the number of evil messages I have been receiving (Had 666 unique visitors on friday!) or is it that I am secretly scarred from the evilness of Lewes fireworks (bonfire photos here *unfinished* by the way). Or is it something to do with protecting a loved one? Maybe you could Answer my question this time!

So yeah, Lewes was pretty mental. My traffic was even more mental - with 927 uniques on saturday. I've also been entered into several forums and blogs - so thanks to those of you who have done that! My traffic will predictably drop now (see graph below). Never mind ey - it was fun while it lasted. I'll have to start work on my next traffic driving project - you'll have to wait and see what that is!

November 10th - Rainy November

It's been a particularly boring few days. Work is dull, the weather is dull - literally, and my site has become dull - back down to 50 visitors a day. I have nothing to say i'm afraid. perhaps Rachels Birthday will cheer me up!

15th November - Funky Buddah Birthday

This Friday was Raquel's birthday! Everyone say Happy Birthday Raquel! I was a loving boyfriend (of course) and woke her on Friday morning with freshly squeezed Orange Juice and Croissants, as well as her birthday present and card. Needless to say, it was a lovely expensive gift and a very sweet card (uh-hum!) That evening, we met up with some of Rachel's friends and, after singing happy birthday around a Tesco's Finest Chocolate cake and cracking open our house warming bottle of Moet, we made our way into town to start the Liver destruction at Easy Bar opposite Churchill Square.

Clubbing has been replaced by pubbing in my life for the last few years. During my 1st and 2nd years of University I was a clubbing machine! Without fail you could find me in the Honey Club on kings road arches 4 nights a week and in one of the other fine Brighton clubbing establishments such as the Beach, The Zap (now Union), The Ocean Rooms and (very occasionally!) The Event or Creation on the other nights.

I never really was a fan of The Funky Buddha lounge however. For those of you who don't know it, the Funky Buddha is a very small club under Kings Road in one of the Arches. Unlike most of the other Arch clubs on the seafront, you can almost touch the ceiling and it really feels small and claustrophobic - especially when its packed. Most of the clubs in Bath are similar - due to Bath Council's stupid licensing laws - so it painfully reminded me of Home, even if it does usually have a much better selection of DJ's. Maybe its the 'been there done that' feeling, or the stupid entry & drinks prices that have put me off, but I'm just bored of Brighton clubs. I have had so many wicked nights sitting in a nice bar or pub, chatting to mates, than in clubs, playing cheesy music, screeming to make yourself heard and paying a fortune to get crushed and spill your drink.

A birthday is different though. There is a good reason to go clubbing and get shitfaced and dance like a moron and get covered in beer and lose yer voice! So to the Funky Buddah lounge we went - and quite a laugh the night turned out to be. I even bought a new shirt so I could strutt my stuff in style on the dance floor. I didn't get that shitfaced, and actually managed to avert a fight between Seany Bennett and a group of 20 or so Chav's who were leering over a very drunk Anna. The climax of the night was a nice greasy burger from the new burger shop in the funny hut opposite West Street, and a long drunken walk along the sea front in the rain. We all spent Saturday feeling monged, watching England's victory and playing stupid quizzes.

Our Office Christmas party was announced last week. It looks pretty cool! Check out our Hotel in Lewes, where we'll be staying the night on December 10th. We get a 3 course meal, open bar and DJ through the night! No partners! woohoo! I would be scouring Lewes for some foxy chicks to take back to my love nest, however I'll probably have to plump for Morphy as I think it's 2 to a room :-( Check out some physics related banter flying round the office - I think this is a dig at me. You're in trouble Jonny Stewart! The war continues...!

17th November - Sad departure

Today we played football! woohoo! It was great! I managed a sustained number of keepie-uppies - like 5 or 6 at a time - including headers - and a maximum of 12! Thats pretty amazing considering my previous best was like 3! Thank you summer hacky sack!

I have also been teaching the basics of HTML to a lad on work experience - Josh Treacher. I like teaching. I've often thought about doing it, although its all good and well doing it with one or two 15 year old students - a class of them would be a different story.

I will pay my tribute now to Daryl Pereira - fellow collegue come deserter. Daz is leaving our office on Friday to move to France. Why do that Daz, ok so the rioting has abated, but they still smell funny! All I can say to you is - cassez-vous en France et faites voir le sexe avec des chèvres - si nous nous inquiétons! Nah, you will be missed mate. Its been great working with ya - and good luck in the future. Keep in touch ;-)

Unfortunatley I won't be around this weekend to get trashed with Mr Pereira - I am going to Bath to Get trashed with Mr Mitchell! Yet another birthday! Parents have too much sex in February!

P.S. I had a referal today for 'Hate pompey pictures'! Hahaha! How does Google know? I'm 4th for this term, and have never mentioned my ardency for the Saints or my detestation for the Skates! We hate pompey, we hate pompey! Well done Google!

22nd November - West Country Weekender

I have spoken quite a bit recently about night clubs and my feelings toward them. This weekend was mostly spent in them, and pubs! I went to Bath for the weekend to see the lads - Moley with his new found unemployment, Benjy the Boss with another potential employee and Jonno the 'no longer stoned' ex-smoker. Its always great going back to Bath and seeing everyone again - especially now I don't have to work every time I go back, although this often results in 2 days of drunken debauchery and feeling like shit until the following Wednesday.

I left work on Friday early at 4.30 so I could catch the direct train after a crazily long lunch for Daryl's leaving do. We went to Indian Summer Restaurant on East Street in Brighton and it took about 3 hours to order, get served and finally leave. Tasty food, although pricey and not really worth the wait (is any meal worth waiting 2 ½ hours for?) I arrived back in Bath and met Ben, Dave and Tim in the Pig and Fiddle, where they were playing 2 many DJ's which was well good.

We got steadily more drunk and, as is usual for the west country, the choice of beverage was Cider - and plenty of it. We ended up in Delfter Krug, which is not my favourite club in Bath, but certainly beats the Huntsman or O'Neils! We finished the night on Vodka red bulls which ended in a bit of a disaster. We were given 2 cans of Red Bull, but only needed one. Ben put the spare in his back pocket, but it was open so he ended up with a large sticky patch on his trousers - not the first time that's happened ey! Then, for some stupid reason only a very drunken Dave can tell you, I put the can in my pocket which I duly forgot I'd done, so I too ended up with a sticky patch in my Coat.

Saturday was equally as dirty. I woke around 12, put the Telly on and - horrah - Arsenal V Wigan, followed by England New Zealand followed by Wales South Africa followed by Real Madrid Barcelona! A full day of Football, Rugby and Cider - bliss! After spending most of the Evening in the Assembly Inn, Moley, my little sis and I wandered off to Poo Naa Naa while the others, for some bizarre reason went into Baths favourite Gay Bar - Madeline's. or the Dog and Dyke as some call it. Now why 3 straight couples and Yan wanted to go to Mandelins is beyond me - they all came out saying how shocked they were at how many Gay people were in there - Its a bloody gay bar, what do you expect!! I guess I'm a little bitter as they left me and moley in Poo's with all those underage girls....actually, I'm not that bitter! For the first time in about 2 years I ended up passing out fully dressed with my contact lenses still in. I woke up at about 6 with the lenses completely glued to my eye balls, shivering so much I couldn't even peel them off. Pretty grim.

The one thing which spoiled the whole weekend was the train journey back - I'm really starting to hate train journeys! Not only did it take 5 hours, not only was each train packed like a can of sardines, not only was I stood on two freezing cold platforms for over an hour, but I had the displeasure of witnessing a group of shitty 15 year olds picking on some poor lady reading her book by flicking her in the face! I just don't understand it. I just kept thinking if that was my mum i'd fookin kill them. How can people act like that - its just wrong!

November 28th - Go Bears!

I'm always saying i'll try to post more, but this last week I've been worse than ever at posting! I have only posted 4 times in November - and its over in 2 days! I'm going to post everyday this week - even if I have very little to say - Thats a Promise!

This weekend has been a gentle, family weekend. My Mum came to stay in our flat for the first time since we moved in which was very nice. Friday we got a curry from Biryani House - which was mighty tasty and mighty hot! My lowly Jalfrezi contained thin green shoots - which I mistook for beans. I stuffed three into my gob, chewed three times and tried to swallow. An overwhelming burning sensation enveloped my whole face - the three chillies which I had just wolfed down managed to numb my mouth for the rest of the meal - and set my unmentionable area on fire the next morning! We also ordered a Buhuna and a Chicken Madras - but I have to say - I really think the Jalfrezi was hotter than the Madras, although once my tongue was burned I couldn't really tell!

Saturday daytime we went into town and had Coffee and Cookies in at The Real Eating Company on Western Road. It was a fantastic coffee, and a fantastic Cookie - which duly prompted my Mother to buy us a Cafetierè and Rachel to bake some tasty Cookies to try and match the ones in the Restaurant. In the evening we went to La Piazza on Church Road. I think I may write a restaurant guide and detail the restaurants we go to in Brighton. La Piazza is one of many Italian restaurants on Church Road - all of which were very busy! The meal was really rich and very tasty - one of the first times I've left food because I was so full!

Sunday, Jonny, Rach and I we went to see the Brighton Bears (See pics below). Go Bears! Basketball is a funny game. Its almost too exciting. as soon as they score, the other team run off and score. Brighton never lost the lead from the start and the bears Won 87 - 64. Baskets mean very little, unlike a goal in football or a try in Rugby. It was good entertainment - especially as the fittest girls in Whitehawk were on parade!

The Bears The Crowd The Honeybears
A penalty win for Brighton Half time entertainment More Bear Fun

November 30th - Broken wrist

So much for posting everyday this week. My campaign to make the most of the tax I pay is certainly coming into its own. For the second time this year I ended up in Casualty on Monday night after trying to be a goalie in our game of 5-a-side football at the Withdean. Cainzie aka the hoof took one of his trademarked power shots at goal which I, being the eager beaver under-achieving footballer I am, attempted to save. The shot was from just outside the area, maybe 10ft away. The ball smashed into my left hand and bent it back, the ball deflecting over the bar (what a save!). I think I yelled a few profanities while hoping around the pitch, my wrist pulsing with pain. I kind of knew straight away that it was pretty bad, but since Rachel had been taking the piss out of me on Sunday for having indigestion, saying I had a low pain threshold, so I tried to put on a brave face and solider on - even claiming I'd keep playing. Every time I let go and stopped supporting my hand, searing pain shot down my arm. After 5 or 10 minutes of standing around trying to shake it off, I admitted defeat and headed back to the warmth of the changing rooms. A tennis-coach type chap was getting changed and, seeing me struggling to put my trousers on whilst clutching at my wrist, checked it out and said I should definitely go to casualty. After 30 minutes trying to get changed with one hand I wondered back to the pitch and asked 'The Hoof' if he would give me a lift to casualty which he duly did.

I arrived into Accident and Emergency reception at the Royal Sussex County Hospital to the stench of bleach, cigarettes and alcohol - the usual A and E aroma - and took a seat along side the other elderly, foreign, drunk and incompetent reprobates in the waiting area. After about 15 minutes two Police women came in flanking some whitehawk skank who, as far as I could make out, had a suspected fractured leg after jumping out of the window of the house he was burgling. The bastard even got seen before everyone who had been waiting hours. I would have locked him to a chair and made him wait til the end of the night personally. My turn to see a nurse finally arrived after an hour of waiting. She gave me two Paracetomol, painfully twisted my wrist, prodded at it for a few minutes, made some notes and sent me to the x-ray department for a further hours wait.

It was difficult to know where the pain was coming from. At first I thought It was the underside of my Wrist, then my thumb was throbbing, then the top of my hand. There was very little swelling and I could easily move my fingers, but the slightest twist in my wrist sent pain shooting through my body as fast as the football through the air.

Unfortunately, Radiology was like that typical nightmare hospital scene the Daily Fail harps on about week after week. There were numerous old people lying on trolleys in freezing cold corridors, reeking of piss and moaning under their oxygen masks. There was of course our friend half-inch-half-wit of Whitehawk, who was seen before infirm-taxpayer-of-40-years lying in a pool of her own effluent. As far as I could tell there were two radiologists working. One running around looking stern barking orders at people and one gently, calmly and efficiently getting on with her job. Thankfully I got the later, who took 4 shots of my wrist and hand with her deadly but necessary x-ray machine, followed by another 2 to get a better view. After a few minutes processing the photos, she popped them into my hand and kindly informed me it wasn't my hand, it was my wrist.

It was now 10pm and I was bloody thirsty. I sat back with the great unwashed in reception, which was now almost entirely full of drunks asleep on the chairs. I was shivering uncontrollably, which I guess must be a symptom of shock - I was shivering wildly when I cut my head open in the summer and it was 25 degrees then. At about 10.30pm a doctor called me through to the ward and stuck the x-ray photos onto his light board. A clear circular line was visible at the top of the bone, with what looked like 4 or 5 small white bits making up the hole. A side on view revealed the majestic m shape of the top of the bone interrupted by a splinter of white sticking into the swirly gap between wrist and hand. The Doc sat me down and told me the top of the bone had shattered into several pieces, and the sticky-out bit was bone jutting into the joint. He looked me in the eye and said its pretty bad. I never take much seriously, and his words kind of washed over me, like Rachel's voice during an argument. He advised me I would need a pin inserted into the bone and started asking me when I'd eaten last and if I'd ever had a general anaesthetic before. The shivering suddenly worsened. The Doc made a few notes then said he would seek a second opinion from a specialist. The gravity of the situation started to sink in and all I could think about was - shit - I'm not going to eat all night!

The specialist came over and, after a quick look at the x-rays decided it wasn't bad enough to operate, but that by not operating there would be a greatly increased chance of arthritis in my wrist when I was in my 50's. 26 years away I thought. Thank God! The doc made a few more notes and sent me off to Dan the plasterer who would put on my Cast (I find out tomorrow how long I have to keep the awkward clumpy lump wrapped around my arm). Dan the plasterer had his own room, with a bed and furnace! The plaster casting process was pretty quick and easy. He wrapped my hand-to-elbow in cotton wool, dipped ready made strips of plastered bandage into warm water, and smoothed them over the cotton wool. The plaster mould was then covered in strong cotton gauze and that was that. I could go home and lick my wounds - and eat - only 4 hours wasted!

On my way out, as I was booking my return appointment at the fracture clinic, another lad was booking himself in after falling badly on his wrist whilst playing football. At least I'm not alone ey!

The up-side is - I have had two restful days off work, although there's very little to do when you have the use of only one arm. I started writing this at 2.15pm - its now 5pm. Work is going to be fun tomorrow! The downside is I am going to miss the Experian Credit Expert comedy night with free drinks in London tonight :-(

P.S: I would just like to say thanks to any Hospital staff who may read this. It is a pretty incredible job you lot do, unsoicable long hours it pretty poor conditions, under a lot of stress - and with some of society's real scum. You treated me with care and efficiency and above all it was free! Long live the NHS ;-)

P.P.S: Thank you everyone at work who have been sending me texts wishing me well and the great Communal Card - much appreciated - I'll be back at about 11 tomorrow and milk my situation - you'll be sick of me being a whining invalid pretty quickly I expect!

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