What is the difference between a Goblin, an Elf and a Dwarf?

This one made me laugh, so I thought I would try to answer it!

As far I as I can ascertain, the difference between a Goblin, an Elf and a Dwarf are as follows:

• Goblins live in caves, have slimy skin, are horrible, rude & obnoxious creatures
• Elves have pointy ears, are quite nice, often helpful, and sing songs, are possesed with magical powers and fear the Goblins, who like to eat human flesh.
• Dwarves are real, they are small humans who had growth deficiencies when they were young, often genetic problems, and are really no different to you or me, except maybe

Of course, a dwarf can be many things. It can also be a type of star, which is both large or small. If something is dwarfed by something else, it has been massively over-shadowed by the other thing, so actually, dwarf doesn't always mean small (kind of an irony really to small people - bit like saying wicked when something is good and not evil?!

Some quality Dwarf related links are - Hank the Angry drunken Dwarf
How can any one forget the mental dwarf from Jackass Wee Man Jason Acuna. Visit his website to see a small man getting big boobed girls!

As for the other two, they are mystical characters where elves are nice and goblins are not - thats about it - chack the Wiki for definitions if you want to know more about elves, trolls and Norse Mythology